So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize