how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
