I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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