i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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