it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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