marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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