I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
