Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
