My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
