Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
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