i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
