Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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