I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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