HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
i believe in u and ur pee
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
