why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
