marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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