So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
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