Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
