ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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