loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
