Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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