Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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