He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
