I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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