I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
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