i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Will exercising make me less horny?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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