Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Boobs speak an international language.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
