i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
