This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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