I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
