He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
