My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
