i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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