Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
