Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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