I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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