I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
