i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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