I think I am morally bankrupt
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
