FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
