im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
