Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
