What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
