It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
