The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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