Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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