Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
