you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
