I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
