I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
