Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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