It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
