Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Randomize