he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
