If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
