He is such a slut. More and more my type.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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