i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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